How I Became an Instant Millionaire

A friend did me a significant favor. When I asked what the cost would be, he said “A million dollars.”

I  promptly  whipped-out  my  checkbook  and   wrote  him a  check,   on-the-spot,     for      $ 1,000,000.00.

He laughed, walking away with the check saying he was going to have it framed and put on his wall so he could tell people he was a millionaire.

A week later, the Head Teller from my bank called me.  The conversation went a little something like this…

Teller: “Mr. Fraser, we have a check drawn on your account for one-million-dollars.  We’ve checked the signature and it seems to match yours.”

I started laughing, realizing my friend had joked my joke, by depositing the check I’d written him.

Me: “Yes… the signature matches because I did indeed sign that check.”

Teller:  “Mr. Fraser, do you have any idea what your current checking account balance is?”

Me: “About $ 37.”

Teller:  “Actually, Mr. Fraser, it’s $ 26.50.  Why would you write a check for a million dollars if your account balance was only $ 26.50?”

Me: “I told you, I thought my balance was $ 37.00.”

Teller:  “OK, Mr. Fraser, why then woul­d you write a check for one-million-dollars when ‘you thought’ your balance was $ 37.00?”

Me:  “Well… you see, it was kind of a joke. My friend said, in jest, that a favor he’d done me was worth one-million-dollars. So I joked his joke, by writing a check for that amount; which we both knew was bogus.  Then he further joked, my joke, by depositing that bogus check into his account, so I’d get a call from my bank asking ‘What the hell is going on,” which is pretty much the conversation we’re having now – isn’t it.”

Teller:  “Mr. Fraser do you realize that in writing this check you’ve committed a felony crime?”

Me:  “I seriously doubt my friend has filed a criminal complaint, and even if he did, it’d be pretty hard to demonstrate criminal intent.”

Teller:  “That’s very funny Mr. Fraser.  We’ll deduct the $30.00 returned check fee from your account.”

Me:  “OK… but you just told me there’s only $26.50 remaining in that account.  Can I write you a check for the difference?”

Teller: [click]

A couple of weeks passed, and I’d long since forgotten about this conversation with the Head Teller, when my monthly bank statement arrived in the mail.  The statement looked rather impressive.  There were more zeros then I’d ever seen.

To balance my statement, the bank couldn’t simply debit my account -$ 1,000,000.00 and leave it at that, because their balance would be off by that amount.  The bank then had to credit my account $ 1,000.000.00 and deduct the $ 30 overdraft fee.  So, for a very brief instant, I was a millionaire.