Googol Announces Latest Addition to Wearables, Googol Guns

Now that Googol has mastered hands-free driving they have announced their latest project, Googol Guns. As we drive, hands free, along the Googol Express Lane of the Los Angeles Freeway, Googol project manager Arney Eckley gesticulates with both hands as he explains the latest addition to Googol Wearables, Googol Guns. “Driverless cars have become so ubiquitous that we see the potential in many other areas where people habitually kill each other. Driverless cars may prevent up to 34,000 needless automobile-related deaths a year,” stated Eckley. After a brief interruption while the car ticketed itself for speeding, pled guilty and paid the fine using Googol Wallet, Eckley continued, “The only device besides the car that kills nearly as many people annually in the U.S. is the gun. Once these technologies are adopted the only challenge left for us will be to cure cancer and heart disease.” Eckely is particularly optimistic about the Googol Gun. “With guns, it is a lot more straightforward than cars,” asserts Eckely. “We simply program the Second Amendment, all pertinent Federal, State, and local laws, including “Stand Your Ground” laws into the cloud-based software and the gun knows what it can do. Updates will be available for free download as Appeals Court rulings and statutory and Constitutional changes naturally occur. Each software version will be named after a historic figure. Version 1.01.03 is tentatively designated as “Colt”. With existing face, voice and other recognition techniques as well as highly sophisticated threat-evaluation algorithms, the gun will know who to shoot and who not to shoot with much greater reliability than even the most highly trained gun owners. It will make a huge difference immediately. After all, most gun injuries and deaths are either self-inflicted or to immediate family members and friends. That’s where we have the greatest potential,” said Eckley.

We asked if Googol Guns would be available for iPhone users as well but Eckley admitted that a final agreement had not yet been reached. “We expect that, after a few more iPhone users shoot themselves or someone close to them Googol Guns will be offered on iTunes too. “What about the National Rifle Association?” I asked, “Are they on board with this project”? “Of course,” said Arnie, “Who do you think gave us the idea about the Second Amendment?” As we wrapped up the interview I asked Eckley if he would mind dropping me off at the airport. “Not at all”, he graciously offered. As we drove along, not driving, I reflected on the incredible technological advances that are changing our lives in so many wondrous ways. Our Googol car parked itself behind a large cargo terminal between two large tractor-trailers. I looked quizzically at Arnie. “Okay Googol Car!” he shouted at the dashboard. “We have arrived at your destination,” responded the car’s Googol Maps-controlled navigation unit. “I guess this must be the closest point to your plane,” said Arnie. Sure enough, there it was. As I looked at it through the double chain link fence topped by razor wire, I wondered how I would get there.