A POTPOURRI OF UNSOLICITED OPINION AND COMMENT

Dennis Reeves Cooper, Ph.D

Here is a compilation of opinions and comments that either do not lend themselves to complete columns or which are left over from some of my previously-published columns. Some are tongue-in-cheek and some are reasonably serious. I will leave it up to you to tell the difference.

IRS SCANDAL. For months and months, congressional investigators have been trying the get the IRS to release emails of several high-level IRS employees to see if they were involved in an orchestrated effort to gag political speech of conservative groups before the last presidential election. Finally, in recent days, IRS officials, have reported, with straight faces, that thousands of the requested emails have simply been “lost.” Geez! The dog-ate-my-homework scam didn’t even work in the third grade.

THE SLEEPING JUDGE. As a small town political pundit, I have written many times that, in elections, the incumbent candidates have an advantage and, in most cases, the only way they might lose is if the media learns that they have been involved in scandal– and in Key West and Monroe County, often even scandal isn’t enough to beat an incumbent. But what if you are an incumbent judge running for reelection and you get caught sleeping on the bench? Unfortunately, that’s what happened to Circuit Judge Tegan Slaton a couple of weeks ago. Slaton blames it on medication he was taking. But we have to have some sympathy for him. Some of the cases that come before our local judges are so boring that it is a wonder that all of them don’t doze off from time to time.

BACK TO IRAQ? If you’ve been keeping up with the news, you know that the Iraqi government appears to be in the midst of a full meltdown and the Iraqi army– which the United States spent way too much blood and treasure to train and equip– seems to be in a retreat which can only be called cowardly. Pressure is building on President Obama to send American troops back in to try to save that country– again. Before that decision is made, however, I suggest that a blue ribbon committee be appointed, headed by the President, who will try to predict in advance which of our soldiers, by name, will be killed or maimed and that the loved ones of those soldiers be notified by the President in advance. Of course, I know that this is not possible. I’m just making a statement here. I am an ex-paratrooper and being a kick-ass hawk is in my DNA. But as I wrote in my column here last week, I no longer believe that trading the life of even one American soldier to try to save an ungrateful Stone Age nation is a good trade.

GAY MARRIAGE. I am for it. Everyone should have the opportunity to share the pain.

SIDE EFFECTS. Apparently, pharmaceutical companies that advertise their medicines on TV are required to list the side effects– and, often, those side effects are pretty scary. For example, who would want to take a medicine with possible side effects something like stroke, liver failure or terminal acne. According to the commercials for Viagra, men who might experience a four-hour erection are warned to call their doctors. The heck with that. I say if you experience a four-hour erection, call CNN!

CLIMATE CHANGE. Part of being a news junkie , as I am, is listening to and evaluating the effectiveness and credibility of arguments on both sides of an issue. Climate change is an interesting example. Proponents on one side say that the climate is warming and man’s pollution is responsible but that we can slow down the bad effects of climate change by imposing serious restrictions on businesses and other sources of pollution. Opponents argue that, yes, the climate is changing and has been changing for millions of years. Heck, at one time, the polar ice cap extended well down into what is now the United States. How do you think the Great Lakes were created? The opponents also say that whether man is partly responsible or not, it is unrealistic to think that we can do much to affect what is happening– especially since some of the biggest polluters in the world, like China and India, do not seem willing to do their part. Not to mention the billions of dollars and thousands of jobs such an effort could cost here. But having made that point, the opponents do agree that it’s not a bad idea to impose reasonable restrictions in this country to try to continue to reduce pollution. What bothers me as an analyst, is that the proponents try to denigrate the opponents by characterizing them as stupid because they do not believe that the climate is changing. That is simply not true. The opponents certainly agree that the climate is changing– but they question whether or not man can do anything meaningful to keep Mother Nature from doing what she wants to do. By blatantly mis-characterizing the opponents’ argument, the proponents reduce the effectiveness of their own argument.

PHOTO ID FOR VOTING. Opponents of the Florida law that requires citizens to show a photo ID to vote, are still arguing that the purpose of the law is to discourage minorities and the poor from voting and that is important because, apparently, minorities and the poor tend to vote for Democrats– so this whole thing is a lowdown rotten Republican conspiracy. The other side of that argument is that the purpose of the law is to prevent voter fraud and that, in any event, any registered voter who shows up at the polls without a photo ID can vote, using a provisional ballot. The signature on that ballot is later compared to the signature on the voter registration records. Another option is to vote absentee. No photo ID is required to vote absentee. But a big question has to be asked here: How the hell does somebody get through life without a photo ID?!

NEW RESIDENTIAL PARKING LAW. The City Commission has been struggling for years to somehow, give Old Town residents some priority when it comes to access to street parking in that part of town. That was the original purpose of those parking places all over Old Town marked “Residential Parking.” But that program has never worked very well– meaning that Old Town residents still often have a problem finding a place to park anywhere near where they live. There are several reasons for that. First of all, the only credential required to park in a marked residential parking place is a Monroe County license plate. That means that someone in town from Key Largo can legally park in one of those parking places. Perhaps, just perhaps, the City Commissioners who passed that law back in history didn’t adequately think it through. Snowbirds who have residences here and who have out-of-state license plates can buy a sticker allow them to also legally park in the designated parking places. Another reason the current program has not worked is that tourists looking for someplace to park have no clue what the residential parking designation painted on the street means– if they even notice it. The painted designation is often covered with leaves or worn thin from wear. But the real reason the current program has been a failure is that there is little or no enforcement. A new residential parking ordinance passed on first reading last week. If it passes on second reading, only Key West residents will be able to park legally in marked residential parking spaces– if you buy a $10 sticker. I have to predict, however, that this program will also fail because there will be little or no enforcement. I hope I am wrong.

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Dennis Reeves Cooper founded Key West The Newspaper (The Blue Paper) in 1994 and was editor and publisher until he retired in 2012.