Truffles Mixed with Stupidity

The package I’d ordered off eBay was nearly a week late in arriving.  The seller included an apologetic note saying she’d included a special gift as an act of contrition.  Deep inside the package, I found a small box that fit comfortably within the palm of my hand.

Shaped somewhat like a tiny treasure chest, the gold colored box rattled a bit as I rolled it over to read its front label… “Ginger Toffee Truffles.”

Since I like both ginger and toffee, yet had never experienced them simultaneously, I looked forward to this special treat.

Opening the box, plucking one of the two the round golden foil covered balls from its pleated paper holder, using a fingernail to peal away the foil, I popped the milky white soft treat atop my salivating tongue, then bit down hard to get right to the juicy center.

 The burst of flavor was both sudden and disgusting.  My cheeks blew-out, as I gagged and swallowed a good portion of this revolting ‘special treat.’

“What the hell!” I cried as the noxious taste began to coat my nasal pharynx, instantly clearing my sinuses much like an ammonia inhalant.  Flipping over the box to examine the ingredients panel, is when I first saw the words “DO NOT EAT.”

Cocoa Butter, citric acid, sodium bicarbonate, corn starch, Cinnamon, essential oils… read the list of ingredients.  “OK… so I’m not going to die,” I assured myself, “but why would a truffle taste so foul.”

Re-examining the front label, I read: “Ginger Toffee Bath Truffles.”

“What the hell is a ‘bath’ truffle?,” I asked aloud, as my gut started rumbling rather aggressively.

Within the hour, began a series of belches – and worse – that would continue erupting for the next 24 hours.  In the past, I’d sometimes joked that any gas I passed didn’t stink.  Yet this was the first time it was actually true.